Birds of a feather flock together
AU Harry Potter | Winter 2018
G: 479 H: 469 R: 675 S: 363
Character OTM Interview - Felton Quigley
- So, Ruthie, ready to answer some questions about the sensational Felton Quigley?
-puts on idiot hat.. aka a fedora- Yes.
What's it like to write them? Are they an easy character, or do they prove to be difficult?:
I want you to imagine a fart. But not just any fart. It’s one of the squeaker variety, high pitched and whining, that goes on far too long and far too loudly and you’re in the middle of a chorus recital and it’s not even your solo but everyone stops to stare at you and you’ll never get over this kind of humiliation.
That’s what writing Felton is like.
What are a few of their most significant relationships? For example; best friend? Best enemy?:
His sister Felicia is probably his most significant. Because, despite the monster that exists inside an 89 pound bag of passive aggressive 19th century dandy, he’d actually do just about anything for her.. even if he goes about the wrong way.
And Jisik Sa, who’s his best friend, but we’re not really sure why. The two of them mostly seem to be in each other’s lives to act as human gonorrhoea to one another, but again, when push comes to shove, they’d shank a ho to help a bff out.
Aaaannnd Martin Marzan (with accents!) for best enemy. 10/10 would kill him for the value of a peanut.
What is their best subject in school?:
Healing.. which is weird, bc he can’t handle pain himself. But seeing others in pain? OH YEAH LET HIM FIX THAT.
How do they occupy their free time during the day?:
Yelling at people and telling them he knows what’s best for them.
What are three of their favorite things to do for fun?:
Making floral arrangements out of weeds.
Teaching muggleborns how to not be such useless slugs.
What are three of their least favorite things to do in general?:
He doesn’t liking breaking his bones, but his bones are very breakable.
He probably doesn’t like it when another dude enters the bathroom while he’s mid-pee.
He doesn’t much care for getting punched in the face, but it seems to keep happening and idk why!
What is their favorite summer time activity?
Sitting in the park, watching people go by… and then yelling at them and telling them he knows what’s best for them.
What are their plans for the summer holiday? Do they have any family traditions?:
Sure do! It’s called let’s go visit father in Azkaban and never speak of it to anyone.
Do they own a pet? If so, what is it, and how would you describe their relationship with it?:
His name is Her Ladyship Fuzzy Fluffenface of Squishenshire. He’s a 12 year old overweight white persian. Basically, Felton’s parents bought him a cat when he was 3 and asked what he wanted to name it and he screeched “HER LADYSHIP FUZZY FLUFFENFACE OF SQUISHENSHIRE” and they said “but he’s a boy kitty, darling” and he screeched “HER LADYSHIP FUZZY FLUFFENFACE OF SQUISHENSHIRE” and now he dresses the cat in tiaras and ribbons bc ain’t no one gonna put any gender normative stereotypes on his pussycat.
Golden snidget under glass.
A moooooooviiing picture, you say? How quaint!
Two Ton Betty and the Giant Sweaty Yeti by Dungus Dingleberry
Where are you most excited to see them go?
What's a cool thread Felton is/are currently involved in?:
wired shut - Felton broke his mouth and butt in the last quidditch game. Now Jisik is here for.. comfort? idk, man, but it’s some funny shiznit!
shake your bon bon shake your bon bon shake your bon bonnn - Felton and Martin (aka.. Farting) are the last to arrive on the train and get stuck together. A troll shows up. From there.. magic.
Is there anything else you'd like to tell us about them?:
It’s canon now that Felton was born with a hamster tail.
[ perpetual language warning ]
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