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 *Eudora Spitznogle - Beginner, August 12th
Eudora Spitznogle
 Posted: Jun 27 2017, 11:03 AM
Quote
"Guess who's back in the house heels click-clackin' about"
Bubble
Online
He/Him
150 Posts
Rep: 8 pts
[ + | - ]
Group
Professor Beginner
Age
80
Height
5'8"
Status
Muggle-Born
Year
Potions Master
House
Slytherin Head of House
clash
Headmistress of Hogwarts
Awards: 25



Rank Applying For: Beginner
Link to character workshop topic: Workshop Topic
At least two of your recent role play topics:
Double Double Toil and Trouble - Elizabeth Wells
An Attitude Of Altitude And Probity By Which To Abide - Uriah Dorian
In these topics I've worked mainly on establishing relationships with members of staff that Eudora would have taught during her tenure as a Hogwarts Professor. I've also used them as ways to set up Eudora's general behavior patterns and thought processes.

OWL Class - Students
Eudora hasn't had the opportunity to interact in her classes yet, but her class topics give some pretty good insight into how I use dialogue with her. This post in particular is dialogue heavy.

Commentary: Eudora is a character I've worked on for a long time, since before my time at WURR, and while she had started as my secondary character she has quickly morphed into my primary character, which is why she is the first character I am ranking. I feel like I know her pretty well, but I sometimes have trouble sticking to the script when I'm writing her. I have received a lot of positive feedback on her from other writers, but I know my writing ability isn't the strongest so I'd really like to improve that as well.

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SLYTHERIN
{ Head of House }
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Martín Marzán
 Posted: Jun 27 2017, 11:11 AM
Quote
"By the grace of the fire and the flames 🔥"
Stells Bells
Online
She/Her
782 Posts
Rep: 26 pts
[ + | - ]
Group
GLOMP Squad
Age
16
Height
5'11
Status
Pureblood
Year
6th
House
Gryffindor
clash
Viridian Guild
Awards: 74





Application Accepted!

Thank you for participating in the Ranking System! Your application has been added to the review queue. You can expect your reviews sometime within the next two weeks.

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Brandy Sage
 Posted: Jul 10 2017, 05:05 AM
Quote
"the patron saint of lost causes"
Puzzles
Offline
She/Her
253 Posts
Rep: 10 pts
[ + | - ]
Group
GLOMP Squad
Age
16
Height
5'4"
Status
Pureblood
Year
6th Year
House
Ravenclaw
clash
Neutral
Awards: 33



Hey Bubbles! I’m sure you know me by now but I’m Puzzles and I’m going to be your first reviewer today. Now before we get down to the nitty gritty here I’m going to go over some of the requirements for beginner here for you. Ready? Let’s go!

QUOTE

What we're looking for:

  • At least 4 posts by your character over 2 threads. Your most recent post must be made within three months of the date of your application.
  • Have your character profile in the workshop with at least one revision of each section posted by you. (If you choose not to include an appearance section at sorting, you must include it when you post your workshop profile, and then provide a subsequent revision for this rank).
  • At the beginner rank, we are focused on building up your character. We will give you suggestions on how to expand your profiles and posts, particularly in regards to content, in order to gain as complete a picture of your character as possible. We're looking for a general grasp of grammar (punctuation, paragraphs, apostrophes, etc.) and spelling, and that you follow the rules by giving us at least five lines per post. Additionally, we'd like to see that you have made an effort to expand all areas of the profile (i.e. not just personality or not just history).


Everything looks good on this end, let’s get this party started, shall we?

Diving straight in, let’s have a peak at her appearance. So we have an okay foundation here, looking more at the basics without getting into too much depth. I can get a pretty good picture of Eudora but I want more than a picture. I want a moving gif or, better yet, a whole garsh darn movie. I’m greedy okay, just deal with it.

See this:

QUOTE
Her hair is bright red and often configured in a haphazard poof, frizzy curls sticking out in all directions


I love it. The descriptive language here is fabulous. Now, what I you to do is take this and add this level of detail to every inch of your character. And don’t be afraid to delve into other things here. Does she have any unique mannerisms? What does it look like when she walks or runs? What about when she emotes? Eudora is such a fabulous, bright character and I want to see you do her real justice here. We have a hollow chocolate bunny here but I want a full on, 20lb solid chunk of chocolate here! Give me more darn it!

You say she has an impeccable fashion sense. What does that mean? Is it just her who thinks that or do other people agree with her? What exactly do you mean by ‘witch dress’? There are some parts of her that you really dive into, like her hair, brooch and eyes and then some things that I just feel like have been completely glossed over. Your profile is the place where you’re free to dumb all the wonderful detail and description that you aren’t able to cram into your posts. It’s the place that people go to get to deep dive into Eudora and get to know here 100%.

So, let’s take a break from her appearance and have a looksie at her personality. Just from glancing over it you can tell that Eudora is supposed to be kind of an odd duck. Eccentric yet reserved, introverted but with desire to help with the downtrodden and picked on. Now, if you had thought I was going to step down off my high horse about detail, you were wrong. I’m a junkie for information, what can I say? I would love to see you really delve into some of these things and explore Eudora a bit further. She seems like such a cool character and I just want to see you give her the attention she deserves okay?

So, let’s focus a bit on these eccentricates shall we? So, you did touch on these a little bit. Her love of fashion, her monologues, her random singing the way she challenges students in odd ways. I want you to explain these more. Why does her interest in fashion count as something odd? Is it obsessive or is it because she’s into odd things? Or maybe she just wears old things, I mean, she is 80, does she still wear things that were popular when she was younger? What about the things like her singing and monologues? How does she feel about them? Has she embraced them or does it bother her at night as she wishes she could be a little bit more normal.

Really, in her personality you have a lot here you can build on and take off with. My desire is to have you really delve into some of the little things. How does she feel about her age? What about herself in general? Does she have friends and how does she interact with them? What about the depraved youths of wurr? What are her dreams and passions? What is her worst nightmare? What is her favorite snack to have during a sleepless night when she sneaks into the kitchen? Gimme more, gimme more, gimme more. Make that your new mantra. Don’t be afraid to go crazy with the littlest of things and go deep into Eudora.

So! Our last top on this trip around your dear Eudora will take us through her history. Props to you because I found this really interesting. Due to just the wibbly wobbly way the timeline is, I don’t see just a whole lot of people really connecting characters to IRL things. I also like how you weren’t afraid to touch on things like religion. It really adds to her as a whole and lets us peak into her life and how this maker her, her. Out of all your pieces, I think this is where you have the best foundation and the most to really work with. If you explore this more, everything else should fall into place. A person’s history is what really plays a part in shaping them, after all.

It’s not perfect though, so let’s tear it apart a little bit. I’m not really going to focus on dates and things. Yes, our timeline is weird but if you think you can handle it and make it work, then by all means, go for it. Now, I would like to say that I feel as if once you get into her time in Hogwarts, home life gets kind of glossed over. Why does her father want her to go into the healing career? How did it effect the family when she does what she wants and disregards them? Do they end up supporting her or disowning her? WHAT ABOUT THIS ACCIDENT YOU MENTION? I’m so curious here, it’s absolutely killing me. What happened that made it so polarizing to the other students. I know you have 80 years here to cover, which can be quite a bit, but I want to see you pick up on some of those and really flesh them out. Give us more recent history too. I know that can be hard without plots and things but as you hang around here more that shouldn’t be such a problem as things fall into place.

So! To sum it all up, I would say you have a pretty firm handle on Eudora but you also have a way to go as far as depth and detail. I encourage you to really explore things here. You have some fun stuff that you can work with here. Dig into that personality, give us some more in her history, flesh out that rough sketch of her appearance into a painting by Leonardo da Vinci. Don’t be afraid to maybe even do some research into more events that might have happened during that time period and think on how that might have affected her. Have fun with it.

Now, with all this said and done, I am going to approve @Eudora Spitznogle for Beginner! I look forward to see where she goes! Good luck with your next reviewer.

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Blyssenor Wright
 Posted: Jul 12 2017, 04:36 PM
Quote
"CATCH ME I'M FALLING"
ALICE
Offline
SHE/HER
5251 Posts
Rep: 34 pts
[ + | - ]
Group
Headmistress
Age
17
Height
5'0
Status
SINGLE
Year
7TH
House
GRYFFINDOR
clash
CUPCAKE
Awards: 9



Bubble! Hi and hello, I am Alice and I will be your second and final reviewer. smile.gif Puzzles has already ensured that you met the minimum requirements above, so let’s dive into your beginner application and get started.

Eudora is such a vibrant and unique character! I can say, without a doubt, that I have not seen a character like her on WR in my several years on board. She is incredibly refreshing and a joy to read, as these sorts of interactions are typically very minimal. It makes me happy to see how proactive you are with her as a Professor, as well as how much you are branching out to provide more opportunities for the other Hogwarts staff characters.

As I read through both your posts and profile, the first thing I noticed was consistency, something that is always a necessity. Consistency can sometimes be difficult when you’re first learning a character and feeling out their personality, but it’s clear to me that you’ve invested quite a lot of time and effort into working out the quirks that make Eudora who she is. In her profile, you describe her as someone who loves fashion and - true to form - I see her think about or mention fashion in nearly every single one of your posts. You even added into her history that she throws staff parties - something you have posted right now - for her fellow staff members.

Overall, for both portions (posts/profile) you seem to have a phenomenal foundation. You write Eudora well and she already has a distinct voice that I can practically hear in my head. You cross your t’s and dot your i’s in your profile sections, though I will agree with Puzzles that your history section is by far the most well-developed and informative. I don’t have much to add to what Puzzles asked for in your profile, though I will encourage you - if you value brevity - to simply detail enough to give us a complete picture of Eudora. This is generally what newer members look at when plotting and with more details, even some that seem small or minute, you might open up opportunities that would have never come up otherwise. You’ve told me yourself that you have a good grasp on Eudora’s character thanks to time and the profile is a great place for you to show that off.

QUOTE
Eudora continued to watch many colleagues and students come and go until suddenly she realized she had taught almost everyone she was now working alongside. For many years she had been the longest serving staff member, but she had never been the oldest until now.


I have to say that I love the above quote as it ends her profile history so nicely. It’s also a feeling and common theme that you have referenced multiple times in her posts. This is one of those instances where, as I will mention below, I would love to read more of her inner thoughts about such things in her interactions with other characters.

Your posts themselves flow nicely and the class that you have posted for potions is quite informative. My biggest suggestion here is to err on the side of writing more introspection for Eudora. What you’ve shown us here is more action-based - which RP is that way, of course - but aside from a few lines, I feel like we’re missing out on what else could be running through Eudora’s mind at the moment. I saw the most of this suggestion in your thread with Elizabeth, but I’d love to see that branch out even further.

When it comes to your actual descriptions, you do a good job of shaking things up a bit when you refer to Eudora. Using things such as The Professor and the elderly witch. I challenge you to take that maybe one step farther! You could use things such as The former slytherin, the Slytherin Head of House, The former snake, the red-head, the frizzy-haired witch, the fashionista, etc. Just different ways to vary your writing so that it doesn’t feel repetitive from post to post. I also want to expand this suggestion to other descriptions as well, such as colors - coal instead of black, garnet instead of red, or dark chocolate instead of dark brown. Those are simply examples, but they add a little spice to your posts and make them feel more descriptive without changing up your natural writing style.

I see very few grammatical or spelling errors, which means your posts read as well-polished and refined. Great job! Keep that up as you continue to move forward in the ranks.

Overall, I think it’s pretty obvious that I approve Eudora for Beginner. She is off to a great start and with some expansion on your profile and more introspection and descriptive choices in your posts, you should have no issues with Novice. I think you are consistent with her voice, at least in these few posts, so no complaints from me there. For your next application, plot-wise, I’d love to see some interactions with students. I have a feeling we are going to get some from her new familial relation on board, but even beyond that! Just to showcase Eudora’s characterization with a student away from the classroom setting.

As always, if you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me! smile.gif Have a wonderful day <3

@Eudora Spitznogle

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Eudora Spitznogle
 Posted: Aug 12 2017, 01:57 PM
Quote
"Guess who's back in the house heels click-clackin' about"
Bubble
Online
He/Him
150 Posts
Rep: 8 pts
[ + | - ]
Group
Professor Beginner
Age
80
Height
5'8"
Status
Muggle-Born
Year
Potions Master
House
Slytherin Head of House
clash
Headmistress of Hogwarts
Awards: 25



Rank Applying For: Novice
At least three of your recent role play topics:

Plot Arc:
In Eudora's over arching plot arc that has just recently started, she is confronted with past prejudice of being a muggleborn. This begins with her interactions with Elias Deveaux, who is caught calling her and her nephew mudbloods. This sets her on the path of not only trying to root out prejudice in Slytherin House, but also drives her to prove once and for all that she is worthy of her magic.
Louder Than The Crack In The Bell
Days in the Sun

Staff Interaction
Sing for me farewell
in this topic, a group of staff members engage in the train battle in an attempt to rescue the students trapped on the train. This topic in particular showcases Eudora's 'battle magic,' in other words how she would approach a duel or magical combat.

Staff Party
In this topic, Eudora is throwing her annual staff party for her fellow faculty members.

Student Interaction
Howling at the Moon
In this topic, Eudora meets with a former student whose life was tragically taken after one of her classes. The incident affected her deeply and this topic will eventually allow her to find some closure.

New arrival
In this topic, Eudora greets her newly orphaned nephew at Hogsmeade station and proceeds to get him settled into his new life at Hogwarts.

Hoodwinked
In this topic, Eudora stumbles across some students breaking curfew and possibly a life-threatening situation.

Cabin in the Woods
In this topic, Eudora is one of the CAMP counselors and leads her students to their cabin. Plus shenanigans.

Classes
NEWT Class
Potions Class

Clash
Colder than this home
In his topic, Eudora, as Headmistress, is visited upon by the head of the Viridian Guild.

Ability: Pet Augurey
What type of ability is this? Unique pet
Please describe the ability and what it will entail: Augureys, also known as Irish Phoenixes are large buzzard-like birds who are able to predict the weather. As not much else is known about them, I am taking their relation to the phoenix literally (as a branch of the same species or even as a subspecies.) Similarly to their fiery cousins, augureys would presumably be immortal, bursting into a cold blue flame on their burning days and being reborn from the ashes. They would also have the ability to carry immensely heavy loads. Unlike the phoenix, however, their tears would not have any healing properties and they have an almost entirely carnivorous diet (consisting mostly of insects and fairies.)
Where will this ability apply? Both
How does this ability fit into HP and WR canon? The augurey is a magical bird from HP canon, I merely expanded on their traits using established knowledge of the phoenix.
How will this ability benefit your character? Or how do you plan to use this ability for development? The augurey will serve primarily as a stand-in for Eudora’s current pet, Prudence a great grey owl who is advanced in age and is going to die soon. Having a pet with abilities like the augurey will help tremendously when I start Eudora’s literal journey to prove her magical prowess in the next few weeks.
Anything else?

Commentary: Since my last review, some of the things I’ve tried to work on are maintaining the consistency the reviewers saw last time, but I also tried to find new situations to put Eudora in. One of the bigger steps I made was to give her a nephew which, at her stage in life, is a massive new challenge because now at 80 she is having to learn to be a stand in parent.

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SLYTHERIN
{ Head of House }
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Sascha Daskalov
 Posted: Aug 12 2017, 02:23 PM
Quote
"The bloodbath of Bulgaria, the bastard of Ballycastle."
Teej
Online
he/him/his
1457 Posts
Rep: 44 pts
[ + | - ]
Group
Administrator
Age
18
Height
5'11"
Status
Half-Veela
Year
7th
House
Slytherin
clash
Viridian Guild
Awards: 13





Application Accepted!

Thank you for participating in the Ranking System! Your application has been added to the review queue. You can expect your reviews sometime within the next two weeks.

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